How Crying Can Help — and Heal
“Only after the tears have dropped to my dress’s hem can the sun shine again.” A Persian proverb. It is true. This sounds unusual perhaps if you think about it. In Western tradition it seems common knowledge that you should keep the famous ‘stiff upper lip’. “Pull yourself together” is a common term too. Be tough and controlled, that’s the way to deal with hardships and the urge to cry when sorrowful.
This is not the right way.
How I know? I have gone through some hard times. I often wasn’t able to control weeping the way you are supposed to according to the above idea, especially as a child. Over the years I learned a few quite comforting facts:
- Crying is a natural vent for emotions of sorrow. Much more than is commonly known are soul and body a unity. Just like fury causes swearing or other passionate reactions to let off steam, crying is a necessary reaction to deal with feelings of loss or pain or bitter disappointment.
Physiologically it can help healing the wounds of the body: It is a scientific fact that after crying a while and letting it stop of its own accord, endorphins are distributed into the system and they are known to be part of any healing process. They work like pain killers: Transmitting of pain is reduced when endorphins are present. Chemical substances in medicines are based on that principle.
Just as our body needs personal hygiene so does our soul need care: emotional hygiene. Just as we take care of our body in certain ways to make sure it can be well and healthy, so does our soul need taken care of.
Sometimes that can be by talking to friends or relations — shared sorrow is sorrow halved. Sometimes, crying is the order of the day — or situation.
So, next time around, perhaps you’ll be able to let the crying come — and go, too.
Just keep some tissues ready… 😊
